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Feedback is always welcome!! email me © 1998-1999 Deridden Web Operations ® |
WARNING!!Depression is...wanting to fall asleep and never wake up.when driving, coming to the realization that "one slight turn of the wheel, and I can end all of this misery." sitting alone in a dark room for hours trapped by the thoughts stirring, possessing, and disturbing your mind. Insomnia in the 3rd degree. staying awake for days, weeks, months at a time; then walking around like a zombie, unable to think clearly or even function properly due to the lack of sleep... but not caring if you ever sleep again. longing to escape your pain, ANYWAY that you can...whether it be turning to the bottle, drugs, or a gun. wanting to give up on your life because life is just not worth the living hell that you feel. when you think that the way to find happiness involves a warm gun. feeling like your soul, your will to live, your drive and motivation to eat and drink, is dying an agonizingly slow death and to be frightened, yet comforted by the thought. a black pit, that in your good days you feel you may have finally filled in; but that's an illusion - the hole is always there. You're back to choosing between clawing yor way out, and just curling up in the darkness - at least I feel I HAVE a choice now (on meds for major depression) *What do i feel now?? a feeling of relief - that the drugs work a feeling of resignation - will I be on them forever?? a feeling of need - that my family and friends won't think I'm weird; that they can accept me as I am a feeling of wistfulness - i wonder who / what I could've been all those years before the meds a feeling of release - who / what can I be now?? Just my thoughts, based on my own long experience ---contributed by g&sjones THAT YOUR BRAIN IS JAMMING UP SLOWLY...THAT YOU ARE GOING MAD...BUT WHAT IS MAD ?? AND THAT EVERYONE CAN SEE IT..AND THERE'S NO ESCAPE. ---contributed by Sana Malik When you feel like thowing a mad fit of rage, anger, and pain, in front of a large crowd to just see what will happen, but doubting that anyone would ever care. --contributed by DragOnDagger The feeling you get that you're the only one out there that feels this pain that you feel.... This mad angry pain, just wanting it all to end in the easiest way possible, even if it means losing your body to your mind when it over powers your arms to take the knife and end it in a painful way. ---contributed by: DragOnDagger **** if you have contributions or any type of feedback, please e-mail: email me copyright © 1998-2003 Deridden Web Operations main URL = www.depression.8m.com |